How To Make A Fortune On The Donald Trump Presidency

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.  ~Donald Trump

My mother used to say "Behind every dark cloud, there is a silver lining", and this is true also with the election of Donald Trump as P*ssy-Grabber in Chief.  However, the presidency of the Short-Fingered Vulgarian offers you an unparalleled opportunity to make a fortune in the stock market. I will tell you how now.

Instead of bemoaning the fact that a serial liar, a bankrupt, a sexual predator, and a tax-avoider got into the Oval Office, and there was enough intellectually and cognitively-challenged Americans to vote him in,  this is not a suicide moment or a move-to-Canada moment.  It is easy to commit suicide by jumping from a height of Trump's ego and crashing into the level of his IQ, doing yourself in, but that is not the answer.  Making yourself rich by riding the vote of dumb Republicans is the way to go.  We all know that the average American is quite thick ( ) and as the Trumpster degrades the economy and the American standard of living, you can make a killing.

First of all you have to know some stock market terms.  Going long in the stock market, means that you buy stocks to hold and keep while they appreciate.  Going short in the market means that you sell some stock that you don't own (a broker lends you some from their own pool) and when it goes down, you buy back the stock to return it, and the difference is your profit.  You don't have to worry about the Trump voters getting in on this, because there are not enough crayons in the world to explain it to them.  And even if you did, they wouldn't understand it because their second brain cell is out looking for their first.

Now Trump is no policy wonk. If you gave him a penny for his sum total knowledge of how government policy works, you would get change. However he has stated that he will cancel trade agreements, cancel Obamacare and appoint a Republican Supreme Court judge from the Dark Ages.  You never know what Trump is going to do when he talks about things he doesn't understand.  However what little nuggets of effluvia that he has dropped, there is still enough information to trade on in the stock market.  I will give you specific stocks to buy and sell.  But, you ask, what if I don't have money to buy enough stocks to make me rich? Well, for very little money down, you can buy options on your surefire trades that will pay off as big or bigger with a lot less money invested than if you actually put down the money to buy the stocks.  These options are called "calls  and puts".

Now to Trumpians, "calls and puts" means you calls a girl (not a woman, that would be showing respect) and puts your short digit into whatever. However to the savvy investor, who doesn't have to be watered twice a week like Trump voters, "calls and puts" are money leverages.  A "call" is a market contract that buys you the right to buy a stock at a pre-determined strike price before a certain expiry date. They are a fraction of the cost of buying the stock.  As an example, let's say that you are betting that the stock of Brain Fixing Corporation is now trading at 5 cents a share.  You are willing to bet that after 100 days of a Trump-Dump presidency, that their stock will jump to $100 a share. You buy a call that give you the right to buy 1000 shares of Brain Fixing Corporation at 5 cents a share.  When the stock jumps to $100 a share, you exercise your option, and buy the 1000 shares for $50 dollars (0.05 x 1000 = 50) and turn around and immediately sell them at a $1000 dollars a share, netting you a profit of  $995,000.00

Puts work the other say.  Say that you think that the shares of Common Sense Corporation fall from $100 a share to 5 cents a share.  You buy a put that gives you the right to sell 1000 shares of Common Sense Corporation for $100 in 100 days.  When it falls to a nickel a share, you sell your share contract and net roughly the same amount of profit that you would in when buying the call contract on Brain Fixing Corporation Shares.

So what stocks do you buy and sell?  What you are betting on, is that if Donald Trump doesn't have enough brain cells for one decent thought.  If his brain exploded, it wouldn't even mess his hair.  So you take a Contrarian stance. Contrarian investing is explained here.

Trump says that he is going to "Make America Great Again".  As usual, a sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind, and what is actually going to happen is that Trump will "Make America a Great Depression Again".  He doesn't realize that by canceling trade agreements and shutting the borders is bad economics -- akin to trying to use both sides of a piece of toilet paper. His ambition outweighs his relevant skills.

There are certain stocks and industries that will have huge volatility and price movement based on what Trump does.  So if Trump cancels Obamacare, you have to go long, or buy calls on private insurance companies or insurance company groups as they rape and pillage the economic situation of ordinary Americans who need healthcare coverage. Two stocks that will respond to this bad-luck piece of thinking by Trump and other mentally-challenged Republicans, are

   Aetna Inc with stock symbol: NYSE: AET .  It is currently trading at around $119. 

The other one is UnitedHealth Group Inc with stock symbol: NYSE: UNH currently trading at around $146.

Since Americans will have less money to, stocks that will go down will be large ticket items.  Included in that categories are automobiles.  But not all automobiles.  There will be a larger disparity and a shrinking middle class and luxury cars will continue to sell well.  So will the bottom feeders like domestic Ford cars. Cars that cost a little more, like Honda, Toyota and GM will have declining stock values. So here are the ones to go short on or buy puts:

 Honda Motor Co Ltd with stock symbol: NYSE: HMC currently trading at about $28 dollars
    Toyota Motor Corp  with stock symbol: NYSE: TM  currently trading at about $111 dollars

And since folks won't have the money to buy new cars they will have to finance used cars, I am doubling down on sub-prime used car financing. Even the poor will need cars, and they will get them at very high interest rates, and even with a large default value, the car will be repossessed and re-sold. So I am going heavy on:

 Credit Acceptance Corp. with stock symbol: NASDAQ: CACC currently trading at around $186.   There is a whole basket of these kinds of stocks including: 1st Investors Financial Services, AmeriCredit, 722 Redemption, EZ Dealer Finance, AFS Acceptance LLC, CAR Financial Services, Inc., SpringLeaf Regional Acceptance, Drive Financial Services, Auto Use, United Acceptance Inc., Wells Fargo, Santander Consumer USA, and TD Auto Finance

And finally you can't go wrong with dollar stores like Dollar General, Dollar Tree, Family Dollar and a raft of others.  I would also invest in American Standard and other low end toilet manufacturing companies as there will be a lot of crap coming out of the Vulgarian's administration.

So, there is the usual proviso that none of this constitutes investment advice.  It is always "Caveat Emptor -- Buyer Beware" which unfortunately was not followed in the voting booth.  But I think that if you don't have crap for brains, you get the drift of the investing strategy that will make you rich during the Trump-Dump administration.  Having said that, I have one more piece of advice to offer:  There are two secrets to getting rich.  The first is to not tell everything that you know.

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