Surgeon General's Warning - Lapdogs Kill Their Owners
Owning a lapdog can be hazardous to your health and fatal. I have photographic proof. Pictured above are samplings from an online obituary website. Everyone pictured with a dog has died. There can only be one conclusion. Owning a lapdog causes death. (Except if you are Korean, then it is death to the dogs. But not the infidel dogs. The infidel dogs never die unless they take pity on someone with explosives strapped to them. But I digress.).
So the lesson is clear here. Stay away from those little dogs. They can kill you. It is only the little dogs. There are no pictures of dead people with big dogs, so they are okay. Even though the little dogs look cute, they can kill you.