Start a New Trend and Get Rich

Scroll down a bit and take a look at the coltsfoot fake dandelion entry. In the description of it that I ripped from an herbalist blog, they tell you to take the emerging flowers, macerate them, and soak them in vodka to get some "medicine". I did.


To refresh your memory, this is what coltsfoot looks like:

This is what it looks like after I gave it the Granny Clampett treatment and soaked the flowers in vodka:
Now that I had this valuable medicinal elixir, I was wondering what to do with it. I have a fertile imagination, and we all know what makes things fertile. I was struck with the thought that this could become the new Jägermeister.

To quote Wikipedia: Jägermeister’s ingredients include 56 herbs, fruits, roots, and spices including citrus peel, liquorice, anise, poppy seeds, saffron, ginger, juniper berries and ginseng.[4] These ingredients are ground, then steeped in water and alcohol for 2-3 days. Afterwards, this mixture is filtered and stored in oak barrels for about a year. When a year has passed, the liqueur is filtered again, then mixed with sugar, caramel, alcohol, and water. It is filtered one last time then bottled.

Jägermeister makes enough money to sponsor Formula 1 racing and rock bands and all events sexy. I figured you could sell coltsfoot liqueur for a heck of a lot more that the German rotgut, because the flowers only come out in the spring once a year. It would be a limited edition, and you could have vintage years. I even have a logo.


What I would do, is get European peasants to harvest the plants, and then macerate them with bare feet like a good old-fashion grape stomp to make wine. It would add a colourful history, and I could say that it has been made this way for 500 years.

With anticipation approaching giddiness, I decided to taste my cash cow. It was umm ummm ... interesting. It tasted like something between dog-chewn grass and that horrible tasting Buckley's Cough Mixture. It needs to be juiced up with something. I had discovered why Jägermeister had 55 herbs in it. And if you have ever tasted Jägermeister, it does taste like camphorated oil mixed with transmission fluid.

Then the thought struck me that there was a bigger idea here. Open a bar, and serve only drinks made with organic herbs that were good for you. Instead of having an oxygen bar or a cigar bar or a wine bar, you could have a herbalist health drink bar. You could get smashed to cure whatever ails you. This idea is a sure winner. Now all I have to do is round up a bunch of barefooted European peasant ladies.



And in case you are wondering, on the second day of my return to the tropics, this is what Cabbage Beach looked like a couple of hours ago:

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