Ghetto Prom Shoes

Here we go again -- ghetto prom shoes. Never ceases to amaze me.

In a similar vein, I got the following in an email. Students in these tropics have to write a general knowledge BGCSE Examination (Bahamas General Certificate of Secondary Education). Here are some actual questions and answers collected by the teachers:

Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar


Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoetists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?
A. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and Nature hates a vacuum.

Sociology
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important is elections? (don’t you mean “how important ARE elections, apparently not only the students need saving here).
A. Very important. Sexy can only happen when a make gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
.A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorized? (Eg. abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and the lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowes AEIO and U.

Q. What is the Fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.


Q. Give the meaning of the term “Caesarian Section.”
A. The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A roman emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp areas and they look like umbrellas.

English
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology
Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.


Queen of the Prom

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